Regret

My biggest regret as a child is allowing myself to be in a relationship with a guy that was in his late  20’s when I was only 15 or 16. It’s a regret because I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with someone that age as yet. And the sad part is that after finding out that the guy was related to my best-friend  and his age, I ended the relationship because I didn’t know his age at first and it would be scandalous. Honestly, he looked young and very cute. A few months after, my friendship with her  (my best-friend) ended and so did her trust. She went around the place telling people that I was with a “big man” and all sorts of other things. I was called a whore, slut, bitch and the list can go on. What made the situation look terrible to outside persons is that I am a believer and I believe in God and Christ heavily. To be called those things when you’re a Christian can make someone like me look deceiving and pathetic.

A schoolmate went on a popular social media site a year later and persecuted me. He called me “a sly whore that uses Jesus as your cover up” and told persons that i’m with a “40 something year old man”. It’s much easier recalling those things without crying now that it hurts less but then, I rolled over with tears almost every night for weeks. His slut shaming didn’t end. It still hasn’t but I can make it through.

I know that I wasn’t with a 40 something year old man. Nor did I have sex with anyone. I’m saving this body until after marriage. I’ve never used Jesus as a cover up. But Jesus has stuck by my side through the thick and thin. Jesus got me out of the messy situation with the 20 something year old and he has gotten me out of many other situations. I would never use Him as a cover up; I just thank Him constantly for being here with me.

That was my biggest regret as a child.

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